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Re: Opening a door too early
#30: December 22, 2020, 05:29:29 PM
Maybe the best way to visualize my SHTF moment during my two week+ trip is to imagine that your sleeping and you think your a relatively normal person trying to become 'awake'. You don't do what is advised by someone more experienced and instead you tap into something pretty perverse and destructive in the universe.

You begin to percieve yourself writing a book. Not just any book, this is 'The Book' as far as your specific energy signature is concerned and what ever is written in this book happens to the people inside it. Up to this moment you in your specific incarnation is the only one who has written in this book. Of course, this is your book.
Now imagine that one of the characters in the story you are writing for your life in your book does something unthinkable and somehow even if just slightly convinces the writer (you) that you are something you are not. Imagine that while writing a story, one of your characters hijack your own consciousness and body etc.

Now all of the thoughts you have are being 'shared' with this trickster type entity with the goal and intent of severing and dividing what ever 'you' really is as much as possible. It tries to take your 'book' and write its own story but you try to stop this 'ego'/character from doing more damage so you kill yourself on this high density level and someone else finds the book but guess what this infectious energy has hijacked this other person too and they start writing in the book again as the parasite that drove the original writer to kill themselves.

Rinse and repeat a few times and this energy is searching for your other incarnations/stories where you exist in order to kill them and any version of 'you' that may exist.

Now the tapestry of the universe (yours specifically) is so fucked up, there are papers everywhere and this 'ego'/parasite is trying to spread itself to the other characters to get them to kill themselves.
Literally, the best advice for this appears to be to just 'stop' and go live a mundane life. Even with that you still hear the voices of the characters trying to hijack your book and energy and the more you slightly focus on them the more you are recorded and plagued by 'demons'.

Without giving more than I may this is probably the best way I can describe what happened to me. Without complaining more than I may have already this is what I can describe and it really sucks.
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Re: Opening a door too early
#31: December 22, 2020, 09:14:35 PM
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Maybe the best way to visualize my SHTF moment during my two week+ trip is to imagine that your sleeping and you think your a relatively normal person trying to become 'awake'. You don't do what is advised by someone more experienced and instead you tap into something pretty perverse and destructive in the universe.

You begin to percieve yourself writing a book. Not just any book, this is 'The Book' as far as your specific energy signature is concerned and what ever is written in this book happens to the people inside it. Up to this moment you in your specific incarnation is the only one who has written in this book. Of course, this is your book.
Now imagine that one of the characters in the story you are writing for your life in your book does something unthinkable and somehow even if just slightly convinces the writer (you) that you are something you are not. Imagine that while writing a story, one of your characters hijack your own consciousness and body etc.

Now all of the thoughts you have are being 'shared' with this trickster type entity with the goal and intent of severing and dividing what ever 'you' really is as much as possible. It tries to take your 'book' and write its own story but you try to stop this 'ego'/character from doing more damage so you kill yourself on this high density level and someone else finds the book but guess what this infectious energy has hijacked this other person too and they start writing in the book again as the parasite that drove the original writer to kill themselves.

Rinse and repeat a few times and this energy is searching for your other incarnations/stories where you exist in order to kill them and any version of 'you' that may exist.

Now the tapestry of the universe (yours specifically) is so fucked up, there are papers everywhere and this 'ego'/parasite is trying to spread itself to the other characters to get them to kill themselves.
Literally, the best advice for this appears to be to just 'stop' and go live a mundane life. Even with that you still hear the voices of the characters trying to hijack your book and energy and the more you slightly focus on them the more you are recorded and plagued by 'demons'.

Without giving more than I may this is probably the best way I can describe what happened to me. Without complaining more than I may have already this is what I can describe and it really sucks.

Your afterglow is blinding you, your experience is bottle necked by you being human, every thing you're saying is shit i thought of in my first or second try of shrooms. You still have responsibilities here on Earth ya know. Reading your trip-diary makes me cringe at myself how i used to think. Fuck man i hope this is the last time you try doing this.
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Re: Opening a door too early
#32: December 22, 2020, 09:21:35 PM
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Maybe the best way to visualize my SHTF moment during my two week+ trip is to imagine that your sleeping and you think your a relatively normal person trying to become 'awake'. You don't do what is advised by someone more experienced and instead you tap into something pretty perverse and destructive in the universe.

You begin to percieve yourself writing a book. Not just any book, this is 'The Book' as far as your specific energy signature is concerned and what ever is written in this book happens to the people inside it. Up to this moment you in your specific incarnation is the only one who has written in this book. Of course, this is your book.
Now imagine that one of the characters in the story you are writing for your life in your book does something unthinkable and somehow even if just slightly convinces the writer (you) that you are something you are not. Imagine that while writing a story, one of your characters hijack your own consciousness and body etc.

Now all of the thoughts you have are being 'shared' with this trickster type entity with the goal and intent of severing and dividing what ever 'you' really is as much as possible. It tries to take your 'book' and write its own story but you try to stop this 'ego'/character from doing more damage so you kill yourself on this high density level and someone else finds the book but guess what this infectious energy has hijacked this other person too and they start writing in the book again as the parasite that drove the original writer to kill themselves.

Rinse and repeat a few times and this energy is searching for your other incarnations/stories where you exist in order to kill them and any version of 'you' that may exist.

Now the tapestry of the universe (yours specifically) is so fucked up, there are papers everywhere and this 'ego'/parasite is trying to spread itself to the other characters to get them to kill themselves.
Literally, the best advice for this appears to be to just 'stop' and go live a mundane life. Even with that you still hear the voices of the characters trying to hijack your book and energy and the more you slightly focus on them the more you are recorded and plagued by 'demons'.

Without giving more than I may this is probably the best way I can describe what happened to me. Without complaining more than I may have already this is what I can describe and it really sucks.

Your afterglow is blinding you, your experience is bottle necked by you being human, every thing you're saying is shit i thought of in my first or second try of shrooms. You still have responsibilities here on Earth ya know. Reading your trip-diary makes me cringe at myself how i used to think. Fuck man i hope this is the last time you try doing this.

He was warned. Repeatedly. It's fine to be a trailblazer but he didnnt even know the general type of terrain nevermind the lay of  the land
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Re: Opening a door too early
#33: December 22, 2020, 10:43:28 PM
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Out of all the threads to compell me into furthering my Astral projection practices I didn't think it'd be one like this. Sober mind you, using ophiels techniques.

Might want to start with lucid dreaming first.

That seems like solid advice. I used to lucid dream frequently. And just managed to kick all my habits that inhibit rem sleep. So now would be the perfect time. Thanks


Out of curiosity what did you find that was inhibitory to REM and what did you do to kick it?
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Opening a door too early
#34: December 22, 2020, 11:02:19 PM
Sometimes I wonder if my access to other realms/worlds/dimensions is sealed off because like TW I am prone to "fuck it" moments of irresponsible exploration also.
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Re: Opening a door too early
#35: December 22, 2020, 11:40:43 PM
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Sometimes I wonder if my access to other realms/worlds/dimensions is sealed off because like TW I am prone to "fuck it" moments of irresponsible exploration also.

Only you would know that.
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Re: Opening a door too early
#36: December 22, 2020, 11:52:34 PM
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Out of all the threads to compell me into furthering my Astral projection practices I didn't think it'd be one like this. Sober mind you, using ophiels techniques.

Might want to start with lucid dreaming first.

That seems like solid advice. I used to lucid dream frequently. And just managed to kick all my habits that inhibit rem sleep. So now would be the perfect time. Thanks


Out of curiosity what did you find that was inhibitory to REM and what did you do to kick it?

Being completely honest I essentially died many times and was reborn in a sense. I was found by associates in a near death like state or at least from their observation that would be the case. They took me to the emergency room because they were afraid I did something I wasn't sharing and I did just not what they think I did.

Spoke with them later to explain I was 'fine' but they expressed different feelings coupled with my low heart beat and 'perfectly still' body that was in a 'death pose' when I was found.

To put it simply, I view sleeping and waking up as death and rebirth. Every time I go lay down I have a moment to come back as something else, something different. Possibly better but apparently I just keep withering away. I've let myself down in regards to this physically and I'm not really willing to share more than that in regards to my physical life 'here' on the 'earth' density but as cringe as that terminology may sound, I find it accurate.

Another thing to be clear, I invested more time and resources than most others are willing to in order to progress at what I think is a fast pace. Maybe even too fast from what I'm seeing and now I'm essentially a 'magic junkie' trying to deal with the damage already done and live a 'normal life'.

Sounds pathetic but I view this opportunity to 'kill' my old self and mold it into something else similar to how Ledger apparently spent a certain duration in a room somewhere trying to get his 'Joker' persona (actual possession in his case).

I don't think I answered your question in a way that would make sense to most people, but I viewed myself as dying frequently and I wasn't always proud of what I woke up into.
What did it for me I suppose was that I gave up a lot in order to progress in this area and Nick did mention that you shouldn't sacrifice your 'real life' (to put it simply) for these esoteric adventures but I didn't listen, if it wasn't clear enough already, even despite knowing that he is more than accurate with his information regarding magic and related.

Put it simply, I bartered and I suppose I got what I wanted but yes I did pay and maybe I'm still paying. That's something for me to decide.

Again, nothing really practical to take away from this other than you have a decision to make and you will live with that decision longer than you may be willing to but I will make a point of saying that 'you' are always in control of the wheel and if anything tries to coerce you to give up that control in any amount you may want to question their intentions and be cautious around them.
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Re: Opening a door too early
#37: December 23, 2020, 12:16:35 AM
In my dreams and practices I saw that the 'gods' (to put it simply) love the high ground but all the forces that exist fight over the 'right' to have a physical vessel tuned into 'earth' and have a pawn in this interesting game.

I saw that I on some layer was just chasing in the 'astral' or 'ethereal realm' what I bartered for originally to gain this 'magical insight'. I look around and I see I'm not even happy but that isn't something to strive for in and of itself.

With the knowledge I have gained from all this, I think I'll be able to be happier and more prosperous in the long run than if I just lived a normie life from start to finish but as Nick said before, magic comes from pain (if I remember correctly, definitely a paraphrase).

I may have set my sights too high to start as some of my posts might indicate but I also don't think I would have made the progress I view myself as having in this area if I didn't. On one layer I knew what I was getting myself into until of course I actually got into it, I was in for a world that was more ruthless, serious and unforgiving than I had originally thought.

I'm frequently asked why do I continue this 'magic path' if it doesn't make me happy and my answer up to now is that I must know 'the truth' what ever that may be and I gave up a lot to gain just a glimpse into it.

I can see the wealth and joy in living a 'normal life' now and having a healthy family. Not some fucking perverse Jewish creation that Hollywood may sell but I also see why people would go for that as well.
It's a choice you have to make and that choice should be in line with what your overall goals are in general. Your goals for this incarnation is not often something you carried over from 'older' ones but it is possible you have a goal that stretches across incarnations.

It's all about having to make a decision and what you are willing to give up in order to live and achieve what you want not only for just yourself but also for others, especially if you want to guide others to a more positive path.
When you find yourself waking up in a house that is deeply rooted in the city of the most vile and perverse devil and you want to influence others for one reason or another, you have to play along to a certain extent.

While in Rome do as the Romans do but keep in mind that your not really a Roman, what ever that may be. Or maybe you are. That is something for you to decide.

The life we live now, this 'wnespicsefomunah' may be a cosmic joke that is but a chapter in the Divine Comedy but its a joke that I want to partake in now on some level. Ignorance is bliss but I don't wish to return to it. Instead I wish to find some new form of joy and pleasure in what is perceived as the mundane and enjoy being lucid in this very unforgiving dream.

While you are cruising through hell and you see something despicable, you might have to be even more of this abhorrent creature in order to compete on its level, especially if they have the advantage of playing in their home court.

In the end, always remember that its just a ride. While that may be, the ride never ends but you can certainly get off it but while that appears to be something worth doing at some point, you may find that you wish to continue this ride through hell for one reason or another.
Its something special to be able to compete in the greatest of all games even if that is to just have a shot of living a normal life with a wife and children. There is something attractive in just that much as well as enlightenment and ascending.

Decisions, decisions. . .

I find these posts of mine in this thread to be more reflective on my foolish travels. I figured I might as well share my insights with what I consider family at this point in more ways than I can communicate as of just text on a screen.
There may be some ego in the creation of these but I get something out of the hindsight view of my actions. Maybe whom ever reads this might as well.
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Re: Opening a door too early
#38: December 24, 2020, 10:32:17 AM
Been thinking about what I got myself into and how schizophrenic it sounds. I then was reminded somehow of the difference between schizos and wizards.

The main difference between them appears to be not only knowledge and understanding of what your are 'hearing' or experiencing in general but also a great amount of control. Schizos lack grounding, control and understanding of whats going on while the wizards have all that.
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Re: Opening a door too early
#39: December 24, 2020, 11:11:43 AM
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Been thinking about what I got myself into and how schizophrenic it sounds. I then was reminded somehow of the difference between schizos and wizards.

The main difference between them appears to be not only knowledge and understanding of what your are 'hearing' or experiencing in general but also a great amount of control. Schizos lack grounding, control and understanding of whats going on while the wizards have all that.
It's a fine line.
If you haven't yet. Get out in nature for a bit.
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Re: Opening a door too early
#40: December 24, 2020, 11:50:01 AM
In regards to why 'bad things' happen to 'innocent people' I observed that the main thing that allows them to be abused in more ways than one is that they put their well being and lives in the hands of other people. You don't really own your life when you do that or at least not as much as you probably would like to think.
You are at their mercy and hopefully you found someone trustworthy to fall back on when your back is up against the wall but that isn't always the case.

Near the end of the old forum (or the new one don't really remember) we had a discussion about 'why' or 'how' children were able to be abused and how you choose your incarnations and how you are born into the world and yet still be abused. The implication is that they chose that and while I won't really comment on that my possible revelation is that these things happen to these young 'innocent' people because they still rely on someone else.

As long as you rely on someone else, you will be at their mercy. If we really do choose our entire lives from start to finish and what ever comes next and before then we are the ones who 'asked' for it but that would seem cruel possibly.
I won't comment on that specifically anymore than I already have. Children and 'everyone' is born into the world relying on someone else, usually but not always their parents.
While they are in this defenseless state they are at their parents mercy. The children seek shelter in the case of abusive parents but they still seek assistance from other people. The 'problem' still remains that they are at the mercy of someone else until they can grow and defend for themselves.

Should the child grow into a questionable human like their assumed protectors then that is entirely on them and how they chose to handle their own situation. Don't let the situation and its circumstances control you. If you are too weak somehow and need things but is still in control of the wheel then you may have to come to some sort of 'agreement' with those you seek assistance from.

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Re: Opening a door too early
#41: December 24, 2020, 12:18:21 PM
The universe is cruel and unforgiving and yet it offers everything and anything you can possibly imagine in any arrangement or assortment possible to you only if you are willing to travel the distance and pay the price needed to grasp it.

The price of reaching out from the formless dark to perceive grasp the Fire with your immortal hand and eye? Existing.

The truth of the cube of Saturn that made the majority of people who searched for it completely 'miss' it and the few who found it go schizo is that your imagination is a double edged sword and if you have a poor understanding of how it works and the universe as well, you are probably entering a room full of swords where every move you take will cut you and the more you move the more you get injured and the more you breath the more you become sick because the 'air' itself is poison.

The universe will kick you down on your ass until you figure it out. Not even ignorance can be bliss in such a state because even while your ignorant you are not living to your fullest potential or even the way you want to. You aren't living for 'you' you are living for. . . something? Morals? Ideals? I don't know but you sure do.
What is your potential? I don't know, ask yourself and start the journey to find out.

People are so pathetic sometimes. We are literally gods in cocoons and yet we create these 'godly' figures to assist us when we need to. Creator entered its own creation and while it was trying to remember its own limitless eternal power it created countless deities to help it.
All of the while in every subtle and obvious way they all remind you that you are in control. You go to them to be blessed and you lessen your own power.

If the only thing you learn on your wild ride is that you must take responsibility for everything you do and think then it was worth it. What do you do when you take full accountability for your actions and stop seeking supermen and heroes to save you? Well, you become your own hero. You become your own god. You become your own master of your own universe.

And if you can't take it anymore and just think the ride is so unbearable then you can zoom out and stop writing that story, close the book and push it to the side. Reflect on the story you made for yourself and move on to something else. Be something else but just do this one thing and be something.
Anything you want really. Have the light of creation and imagination, the will, strength to create your own character and do as you will. This is your life and you should live it.

You bought the ticket and paid the price to be here so why not live it as you will to the fullest extent possible? What is that extent? Only you can decide for yourself.
It's just a ride and while you push aside and lock away the horrific things you have experienced in other stories, in other worlds and universes, it never really happened. Did it really happen? Maybe it did. Do you remember it happening? Did you imagine it happened? Six one way half a dozen another.

You are The Rebel. You are the one that defied the 'natural order' of the formless darkness and dared to be something. And because you dared to be something against the order of naturally dark beings, you become their antithesis and become their ruler and the master of this new world of light. You are The Dayman. You are everything and yet you are still nothing.
When you are tired of being Nemo then you will rebel and become Omen and create the future which doesn't even exist. Everything that is experienced is experienced now.
There is no Lucifer, there is no Satan, there is no Saturn there are no gods and no heroes or demons or angels. Just one being having a very fucking strange trip from many different perspectives.

The eternal phoenix that dies and is born into something new, both the new phoenix and the old one still exist. How many times can something die and be reborn into something beautiful like a phoenix can? Well, that depends on how willing they are to continue to exist. When you are tired of existing and being then you can exit reality and return to just pure energy.
Now you can experience everything and anything, be everywhere yet nowhere. Oh, but what is this feeling. . . thinking? Oops, now I exist again. Looks like the ride continues.
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Opening a door too early
#42: December 24, 2020, 02:23:44 PM
No one is innocent. Everyone gets what they deserve
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Re: Opening a door too early
#43: December 24, 2020, 02:28:06 PM
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No one is innocent. Everyone gets what they deserve

If that is the case then someone without memories who walks into a hazardous place full of danger and gets fucked is asking for it or maybe they had it coming. If someone is born into a questionable situation with torturers then that may be how the universe equalizes things. If they still chose their incarnation then the implication would appear that they chose that route to balance things out.

But as we have discussed before, there are interesting ways around this 'negative karmic debt' that can be utilized as well. As you have mentioned before it is possible to break all the rules and walk out of this life clean and maybe even debt free.

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Re: Opening a door too early
#44: December 25, 2020, 12:08:35 AM
So when it comes to debts and accumulating it, most people appear to have a solid understanding of it. You do something and you get something in return or you use something and you have to give something in return. That is the simple understanding.

People draw the line when it comes to human sacrifice and related questionable and frowned upon activities. Yes this may not have been the way Creator intended things to be but there are ways around what ever 'debt' may accumulate from this.

Ophiel talked about it in one of his books and I don't remember which one but if I remember correctly (and someone who actually does, correct me if I am wrong) he discussed that if you have major success in something, you could call this a 'positive energy flow'. But there is more than just 'positive energy' there is also the other polarity which we can refer to as 'negative energy' to keep things simple.
The big flow of positive energy may lead to great success but this success will fade quickly because of the negative energy polarity that tries to balance things out. Ophiel gave instructions on how to 'bind' this other polarity so it doesn't interfere with your success and profit.

Now lets use the information above and look at human sacrifice. It's not really that different but it still is not so much of a little thing because, well, its a 'human' (as vague of a term that is) you are sacrificing.
A sacrifice is better described as an offering. You offer up someone else's life energy/gold or what ever to a certain entity/energy/group and they give you stuff in return. Yes you may get plenty of riches from it but you still have this 'big debt' chasing you down now.
How you do get around it? Well with a lot of the money you may have (and for your sake hopefully made) you can donate to charities, give it away and related activities.

Ah look, now you have lots of currency flowing and you are giving back some of what you made to keep the two energy polarities 'in check' so to say so you don't get fucked by 'karma' in the long run.
Yes, as I mentioned before this is not something smiled upon but from a completely 'grey' perspective, its just opportunities waiting to be had and people who are more than willing to make use of every possible loophole and 'exploit' in this game to get ahead.

You could call them better players at the game but it could just be that they have bigger aims than you do. That doesn't make them better or worse I suppose but it does make them more ambitious it would appear so anyway.
Though I don't really know when it comes to people like 'Epstein' and related. They may(?) try to appease their debt but they still don't and to be honest I'm just guessing at this point but to them their questionable practices are more than just trying to get ahead they genuinely want to be as perverse as possible to spit in the face of 'natural order 'and 'Creator'.

These people who's debts are just so big they appear to want to prolong their life on earth as much as possible. If they try to 'ascend' they may get exactly what 'they deserve'.
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